No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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