3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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