I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
