Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
