ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I CAN MOONWALK!
Its about making memories worth repressing
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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