I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
