she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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