I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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