Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize