So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
