That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
