At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just found puke in my bra..
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
