it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Randomize
