oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
