You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
