she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
