Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
