We named our party play list daddy issues
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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