So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize