I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Randomize
