her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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