I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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