he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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