remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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