i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
