How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
