I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
