spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
