with your own penis?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
