if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
