lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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