I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
