i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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