Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
