next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
