i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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