I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
