Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
