READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
