dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
