And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
