she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
