getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Randomize
