Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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