I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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