boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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