I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
