He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
