so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
