I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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