this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
