if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
