She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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